


You Never Know How Much You Love Someone

by klewi00



Category: Free!
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, let her go by passenger was a huge influence, rin is a bartender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 11:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8710180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klewi00/pseuds/klewi00
Summary: Inspired by the song "Let Her Go," by Passenger. In which Sousuke regrets leaving Makoto.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my own work. If you would like to use any part of it in a fic of your own, ask me, and if I allow you to, all I ask is you credit me, and link this fic.

Sousuke let out a heavy sigh as the bartender - his friend Rin - poured him another drink. He took a sip.

“You know,” Rin started as he was drying a glass, causing Sousuke to look up. “You’ve been coming here a lot more often since you and Makoto…” He trailed off.

Sousuke cast his eyes downward to look at his reflection in the drink. He saw a sad face with dim eyes looking back at him. He quickly shook his head and looked back up at Rin.

“Are you really okay, Sousuke?” he asked.

“Of course,” he said, trying to smile at Rin. “It’s just that I have more time to come here now that Makoto and I are…” His smile faded.

Rin set down the glass. “Listen, Sousuke. We’ve known each other since we were little. I can tell you’re upset by this.”

Sousuke turned his head saying, “I am not.” He drained his drink and then said, “I was the one who broke it off anyway.” He could feel his eyes beginning to sting and blinked hard to keep fro any tears falling.

“I know you were, but still,” Rin said. “Was that really what you wanted to do? Why did you do it anyway?”

“It’s not really any of your business,” Sousuke said defensively. “Now, would you mind getting me another drink please?”

“There’s supposed to be a snowstorm on the way, and I don’t want you drunk in the middle of a blizzard. Hell, I don’t want you getting drunk again, Sousuke.”

“What do you mean again?”

“I’ve seen you stumbling home every weekend for the past month or so. Ever since you and Makoto split up. Now, try and tell me again that nothing’s wrong.”

Sousuke had no defense. He stood up, handed Rin some cash for the drinks he’d bought and said, “If you’re going to keep bothering me about my personal life then I guess I’ll just go home.”

“Okay, Sousuke,” Rin said. “But please take care of yourself.”

Sousuke nodded and turned to walk out the door.

***

Back at home, Sousuke was greeted by a cold, dark, empty apartment. Just the sight of no one being there to greet him with a hug and a kiss was enough to make his eyes well up again. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand after hanging up his coat, then went into his room to try and get some sleep.

Whatever sleep he did get was still a little uneasy. It was strange not having another body to keep him company. The sheets still smelled vaguely of Makoto, which although it was nice, was little to no comfort to Sousuke. After a half hour or so he managed to fall asleep.

In his dreams, Makoto was there. His beautiful, warm, smiling face and his kind green eyes. It was light all around with a cool summery breeze floating through the air. Sousuke reached his hand out to cup Makoto’s face, but just as their lips were about to meet, Sousuke woke up to the cold, sad, emptiness of his room, his arm reaching straight up toward the ceiling. It fell back down onto his chest with a small thud. Sousuke’s eyes started prickling again, but he couldn’t blink back the harsh flow of tears.

“Dammit…” he whispered into the dark. “Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!!!” He sat up and held his hands over his eyes, sobbing into them. “Makoto...I’m so sorry...I should never have let you go...You were everything to me and I just left because I didn’t think I deserved you…”

He picked up his phone from the nightstand and looked at his lock screen. Still a smiling picture of him and Makoto. “I really don’t, I guess…”

He unlocked it, and brought up the phone, and before he realized what he had done, the phone was ringing and he heard Makoto’s sleep voice on the other end.

“Sousuke...? Why are you calling me…?”

“Huh? I, uh, um…” He trailed off, surprised both by the fact that he’d called Makoto and also by the fact that he’d actually picked up. “M-makoto, I-”

“I thought you didn’t want to talk to me again…” came the sad voice on the other side of the phone.

Sousuke broke down. “I...I’m so sorry...I should never have…” He took a deep breath in and released it. “No, this won’t do...This isn’t good enough for you. Hang on, Makoto, I need to see you. I have a lot I need to tell you.”

There was a small, “Sousuke, wait! It’s freezing out!” before he hit the ‘end call’ button. He rushed outside without a coat and ran as fast as he could to the place Makoto lived. Rin had been right about the blizzard. The wind was howling and Sousuke was practically blinded by the snow, but he knew exactly where he was going.

He got to Makoto’s doorstep, freezing cold, and knocked on the door. Yet again to his surprise, Makoto answered it. “Makoto…” he whispered.

“Sousuke are you crazy?! Come on, you can’t stand out here any longer you’ll freeze to death.” Makoto allowed Sousuke inside, gave him a blanket, and had him sit down on the couch. Makoto sat in a separate chair so they could talk.

“Why the hell did you go outside without a coat?” Makoto asked.

“I...I guess I forgot it.”

“You could have gotten hurt, or sick, what were you thinking?!”

Sousuke could feel his eyes beginning to well up with tears, but he knew there was no point in trying to stop them. “Why...why are you being so nice?”

“Huh? Oh, I...I don’t know...I guess it’s just in my nature. But what could possibly have been so important that you rushed outside in the middle of a blizzard?!”

“I wanted to - no. I needed to tell you how sorry I am. I’m so stupid for letting you go, and I’m so sorry I did...I…” He trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

Makoto was silent for a minute. “Then why did you?” he asked.

“I don’t know...I just...I thought you deserved better than me and just thought you’d be better off without me…”

“What on earth made you think that?”

“You’re so caring. You said it yourself, it’s in your nature. You’re so caring and kind to everyone, and you’re understanding about everything and you’re such a great person. And here I am, a pretty much solitary asshole who’s completely oblivious to how others feel. You deserved so much better than me, so I thought you’d be happier if I left.”

Makoto stood up and walked over to Sousuke, kneeling down in front of him. He wrapped his arms around him, stroking his hair with one hand. Sousuke gladly accepted the hug and sobbed into Makoto’s shoulder.

“Shh...Hey, it’s okay...You should have known better, Sousuke. Did I not make it clear enough when we were together? I told you as much as I could that I didn’t want anyone else.”

“But why?” Sousuke’s muffled voice asked.

Makoto shrugged slightly. “Because no one else is you.” He pulled away to look Sousuke in the eye. “Don’t ever think you’re not good enough. I never thought that. I always loved you with everything I had.”

“I did too, Makoto, I swear I did. I’m so sorry I left you. That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Shh...I know you’re sorry…”

“Do you think...you could ever forgive me…?”

Makoto smiled a small smile and then leaned in to press a soft, loving kiss to Sousuke’s lips. “Of course, Sousuke,” he said. “I love you so much, and promise you won’t ever forget that.”

“I promise,” Sousuke said, a few tears still leaking from his eyes. “I love you too. I never stopped.”

Makoto brought Sousuke to sit down on the floor with him, pulling the blanket around both of them, and held him close until they both fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my own work. If you would like to use any part of it in a fic of your own, ask me, and if I allow you to, all I ask is you credit me, and link this fic.


End file.
